Was I really going to be this miserable for the rest of my life???
I was a 32-year-old, healthy, charismatic business owner (a martial arts school owner to be exact).
Married. 4 kids.
On the outside, everything looked amazing.
I was a “good” person (whatever THAT meant).
But on the inside, I was depressed, anxious, and had been suicidal off and on for nearly 20 years. I was addicted to several things, yelling at my kids a lot, and couldn't seem to focus enough to get any real work done.
Every day was a rollercoaster.
Despite everything I had tried (we're talking 10s of thousands of dollars and years of work), no one seemed to have a way to leave that constant struggle behind for good.
I was supposed to just "manage" it and "cope" with it "like everybody else".
But that sounded like a miserable way to live.
“Better to end it now,” I thought.
“Better than to spend the next 50 or 60 years going through this every single day.”